i miss you when you’re not around

something that makes me smile.

it makes me smile a little. no, a lot. i am a silly girl with wonderful, funny, demanding people around me, who i love very, very much.

happy weekend.

smoooooooooooooooooooch.

smoooooooooooooooooooooch.

only la will understand.

swoon

Go Tertia!

The fab and wonderful Tertia has bounced out a new project! Go T and Melany!

Anyway, I’ve signed up (wah. people got scared there, I know). And yes, this is a rather ‘adult’ post for me, but it is something I believe in.

I’ve watched dear people in my life cry over children. Children they can’t have. Couldn’t have. Should have had.

I’ve watched them oscillate between anger and glee for me over Cameron.

I’ve spent a long, long time berating myself for being so lucky and yet so undeserving in comparison to them.

I’ve watched a friend have the dream happen and have it taken from her in the most cruel way.

I believe in this project. So much.

Go Tertia and Melany!:

We are delighted to announce the launch of South Africa’s premier Egg Donor Program

nurture Egg Donor Program is a concept conceived by two people who are passionate about the world of infertility and egg donation. Tertia Albertyn, well-known author, former infertility patient and now mother of twins, and Melany Bartok, former egg donor herself and the country’s leading Egg Donation Director are both elated to be doing what they feel is their life’s calling!

At nurture, our focus is on recruiting, selecting and supporting top quality donors who are committed to the process of donating. Our objective is to provide complete donor care – encompassing education, information and support throughout the entire process, from application through to donation and beyond.
We look forward to connecting with you and all the other people whose desire it is to give others a chance to realize their dreams.

With passion and vooma,
Tertia and Melany

Nurture_logo_smallFor more information about Nurture Egg Donor Program please contact either Tertia (tertia@nurture.co.za / 0824418639) or Melany (melany@nurture.co.za / 0766848489)

The Classic Artform and Master Skill of SUFU

(yes, i am perusing the old classics from the forum)

The Classic Artform and Master Skill of SUFU

C@th:
Welcome to teaching 1, tutorial 101 of

THE ART OF SUFU

in this section, we will cover some very basic rules of SUFU.

Firstly, before one can begin to learn the very basic principles of SUFU, one must adopt the language.

Now, in the line of SUFU thinking, one would think that bad or overtly offensive language would be the first line of defence.

No, you would be wrong. Eloquence, tact and no potty mouthing will do. The pinnacle of SUFU, the Straight Up fuck You, cannot be used to begin a SUFU, it can only be used as a finale tactic.

Hence, when one begins a SUFU, one should not, in any way, use any offensive language. One needs to learn to tell people to fuck off and have them enjoy the eloquent ride.

Cmon let’s see you try….

Biomech:
Me: It would be appreciated if we could deflect this conversation into a more meaningful and intellegent trajectory.

SUFU victim: Are you calling me stupid, you fucking limp wristhead?

Me: Stupidity is reflected only in the vocabulary of the stupid. I wonder if you would be hesitant to comment on that?

SUFU victim: I can comment on any fucking thing I like!

Me: Well, feel free.

Cath:
Lesson Two of the SUFU

General rule: SUFUs can be directed at either people or inanimate objects.

Other general rules:

These things DO NOT count as SUFUs:

a. saying fuck you and walking on by. thats not a SUFU, thats a fuck you.
b. pulling a middle finger. whilst this can form PART of a SUFU action, a middle finger pulling does not constitute a SUFU
c. neither does flicking a forehead (lol smirk lol)
d. that said, what DOES constitute a good, all round SUFU is walking up to someone you don’t know, but who has been pissing someone you know off and this is the conversation you have with said random unknown who is pissing someone off:

you: “hi, are you ***?”
idiot: “yes, yes, i am “
you: “great, well, you’re a cnut”
idiot:

BHoRA_: (ed’s note – a fucking classic)

ehehehehehe!

i dunno, a flick on the forhead could be a sufu..

C@th:
a classic SUFU of night as performed on Saturday night by none other than your local DBN Alt SUFU girl.

one of my best friends was recently hurt, quite badly, by someone I had the fortune to not have met before.

So, sadly, stupid retarded hurting type person was at burn on Saturday night and was pointed out to me.

So, I summoned up my SUFU, waited for the perfect moment, walked up to the random fucktard and said:

Cath: “HEY! NICE SHIRT!!”
Random fucktard who should have known better: “Ah thanks! I love it so much! you’re so sweet!”
Cath: “Yeah, pity about the rest of you”

…and then Cath walked away whilst Random fucktard who should have known better stood there, gulping, and not quite sure how to react to that masterful SUFU.

/and so ends the lesson for today/

La:
Thanks to Cath’s guidance, I have eloquently performed 2 Sufu’s thus far this week. *curtsey*

Dazza:
wait wait wait.. i just remembered..
i sufued my boss the other weekend!!! god it was beautiful!

sorry its long, but u need the background info to understand.

*fade to black, funky italian restaurant music*
2 waiters have one half the restaurant, and its pretty much choc full. everybody orders chickens, so there is a back log, and people starting to bitch cause pizzas and chickens takin forever. so running between tables and kitchen etc. in th midst of this owner comes to me
owner – “im fining you R50 for not serving a table”
dazz – “what table”
o – “there was a one seater on table 4″
d – “did you seat him”
o – “yes”
d -”tell anyone”
o – “no”
d – “so then”
so its still busy so i didnt have time to fight with the idiot.

come cashup time, i think “fuck this” and walk into th office and give him a looong speech
“blah blah unfair blah busy blah thought we worked as a team. not very team like sitting table in peoples sections, not telling them when they really really busy, then fining them, etc”

so he replies “well, telling u that there are new tables is not my responsibility”

the sufu (put on a nice sarcastic voice too) “okay cool. THANK YOU andrea”

dazz exits with boss calling his name. hehe

Cath:

Okay its time to pull a classic SUFU out of the hat.

Once upon a merry moon, I actually attended school and bunked most of the time.
I wasnt a cool kid – neither a good nerd or an outright cool kid. I just kinda tried to make my own way.
I got picked on alot. that happens. and sneered at for being a little off centre and okay, let’s be honest, i was a fat kid!

Anyway, in matric, i was told by a total snob bitch of a girl that i would never make anything of myself. It burned me. alot.

funny.

six years later.

I had studied, worked, got paid, changed careers, moved out of home, done alot of the things I had wanted to get going on…

One sunny day I went to lunch with my family and some friends..

Guess who was my waitress.
//lesson # 402 in the art of SUFU – the SUFU of how life will always balance it out.

(coming soon. the wonder of the BAPE. We have a young’un Tristan to train on this!)

‘gone emo, back later’.

i don’t expect anyone to understand the cave, nor do i expect to understand anyone else’s. something i have learnt through a life full of time caving (heh), is that i have to have it. i have to have my cave.

it’s changed over many years. how it looks, where it lives, how it feels, how it smells and moreover, how i feel about it. sometimes i never, ever want to go near there again. alot of times, it’s all i want.

it’s where i write, it’s where i breathe and where it is i do not have to do anything unless spirit says so.

it’s the dark place where my satellites bleep. it’s where it all goes to fester and brew.

it’s also the light place of unexpectation. it does not demand i visit often, but when i call for it, it opens its door, i wipe my feet and i don’t, generally, let anyone else in.

some known and now unknown (thankfully…) to me have been let in before. all but one ran away screaming. the one who stayed was forced to leave by circumstances beyond their control.

it’s where i find my humour again, and can laugh at myself. and at others, without having to explain.

it’s also where i can make sense of the world. it’s the thing i struggle with the most in life. i cannot understand injustice and unfairness. but, according to some, im the biggest purveyor of those things. i don’t think so, and i guess that’s what counts. i don’t always succeed, true. in fact, most times, i am unlikely to succeed in making sense of a world that’s gone mad anyway. the odds are definitely against me on that one. i’m okay with that. it’s there that i miss your dutch uncle act the most. i realise i’m never going to understand injustice. it’s that that made us fight for things all along, right?

that’s the beauty of the cave. no entry charge or explanation required. i am just there. sometimes it arrives without me even noticing. i like that the door can just open for me. some never feel they’re allowed to open theirs. some people are made to feel guilty for doing so (i’ve done that before and it’s led me to remember to just respect the fucking cave, because i demand so often that people respect mine).

that cave has had so many homes. it’s been a field, it’s been a park, it’s been someone else’s house, it’s been a room, it’s been my house, it’s been a bathroom, it’s been a nothing, it’s been an everything, it’s been a dream and it’s definitely been a reality.

but, after all it’s malformations and metamorphoses and changes and wallpaper-off-scrapings, it’s soul has never changed for me. as somebody once said ’she dyed her hair, but she ain’t dying her soul’.

and it’s soul today is light, inviting. it’s soul has always been the words, and it’s door just a thought away. i like that i protect it, and am known for viciously fighting off people who poke at it.

now that i’m older, wiser, wobblier… i find it’s not the dark place so much anymore – from where so much i wrote came.

Sure, sometimes I hear the satellites bleep, but most days it smells of fresh muffins and has a themesong dominated by ‘if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands’.

i like it like that. i hope yours is a safe place for you too.

;-)

‘blessed are the cracked, for it is they who let the light in’

c@th is…

1/stoked to hear about the HDW video. my favourite YAYYAAYY! i shall be hopping in the front row, like usual.

2/again, very certainly thankful to a very certainly wonderful durban band for a very certainly awesome and cathartic song which my very certain carpet does certainly miss certain members of. again, rossgrant, dont know what i’d do without you. life without symmetry.

okay then.

okay then, i get the message.

without the memo.