I.Want.

here

Song For Friday

SOTD – Sond for the Day. Also known as Song For The Defeated today.

Thank you, Will, for listening when I spleenvented. Thank you for letting me be. For being still whilst I yelled at the injustice I see before me on every level.

Thank you, Bean, for being there.

Thank you, NotKay, for understanding when I all I want is to throw a stapler. See you Friday the 13th, Gah. for a meeting. I’ll pack the stapler.

And for you, I say this: “I see all my childhood toys (with chew marks) in your smile”

The Great Beyond – R.E.M.

I’ve watched the stars fall silent from your eyes
All the sights that I have seen
I can’t believe that I believed I wished
That you could see
There’s a new planet in the solar system
There is nothing up my sleeve

I’m pushing an elephant up the stairs
I’m tossing up punch lines that were never there
Over my shoulder a piano falls
Crashing to the ground

In all this talk of time
Talk is fine
But I don’t want to stay around
Why can’t we pantomime, just close our eyes
And sleep sweet dreams
Me and you with wings on our feet

I’m pushing an elephant up the stairs
I’m tossing up punch lines that were never there
Over my shoulder a piano falls
Crashing to the ground

I’m breaking through
I’m bending spoons
I’m keeping flowers in full bloom
I’m looking for answers from the great beyond

I want the hummingbirds, the dancing bears
Sweetest dreams of you
I Look into the stars
I Look into the moon

I’m pushing an elephant up the stairs
I’m tossing up punch lines that were never there
Over my shoulder a piano falls
Crashing to the ground

I’m breaking through
I’m bending spoons
I’m keeping flowers in full bloom
I’m looking for answers from the great beyond

I’m breaking through
I’m bending spoons
I’m keeping flowers in full bloom
I’m looking for answers from the great
Answers from the great, answers

I’m breaking through
I’m bending spoons
I’m keeping flowers in full bloom
I’m looking for answers from the great beyond

I’m breaking through
I’m bending spoons
I’m keeping flowers in full bloom
I’m looking for answers from the great
Answers from the great, answers

I’m breaking through
I’m bending spoons
I’m keeping flowers in full bloom
I’m looking for answers from the great beyond

if – rudyard kipling

for me and notkay taryn today.

please send help and stapler to throw.

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
‘ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

side note – bugger it, i do not want to me a man today, i am losing my shiz here. with reason.

roll on friday

things that make me laugh today

1. my new fruit breakfast regime. seriously. i can tell it’s not going to be a runner, but, hey, i was good this morning.

2. sheena’s spontaneous prayers. so serious, yet so funny.

3. being kept up late to play with balloons. i sodontcare about being tired at work. i’d stay up all night playing with balloons if it makes you happy my love.

4. putting my foot RIIGHT in my mouth this morning in the office. CANNING MYSELF LAUGHING. Sorry dear. Its good that we can laugh at ourselves and each other.

5. @sheena – i’m gonna shit pooh. no darling, you already are, but thanks for sharing. WAH.

6. realising that my urban durban family all have cool nicknames, barring me. bean; moose and whats for me? anyone says that one i dont like and they WILL pay me five rand

7. spoons and suckers. these are two things i should not be allowed near. (shurrup sheena. shurrup matt. HAHA)

random, i realise but, its the little things that keep me going.

(p.s. COWS. kisses.)

your son is in my heart tonight

your son is in my heart tonight. rest in peace sweet soul.

gabisile nkosi

a tweet that made my week

i am so tired. i’ve been up since 4am.

i have done some pretty seemingly impossible things today.

i have been cursed and blessed over and over again, in circles and squares.

i have been crying. i am sad for the loss of two great people today.

i am worried. for the future, for the past, for the inbetween.

i have been smiled at, laughed at and yelled at.

i have fought with shite internet connections all day.

i have listened whilst many people grieve over people lost, fallen souls and ended hopes.

i have grieved for some of my own. i am clean of them now.

i have whined a lot and my flatmate from heaven has held my hand, even when she runs out of fingers to grasp on to.

my bossperson believed in me. even got down on the floor and bowed at my feet for making the impossible possible.

my friends have spoken and been there.

my mother understood how busy i was and yet, that i wanted so badly to listen and pray for the lost hippo. (yes, there’s a lost hippo. he’s on a beach. i hope he’s there for a holiday).

i am okay.

i know i did good things today. with faith, diligence and love.

but, this twitter,
this twitter made my week.

From: Ok. Just so you all know and there is no confusion: Cath Jenkin is a f&^%ing goddess. Disagree ? No one cares, you’re an idiot

a note from a friend today

it lifted me on a day when i needed to hear something nice.

coming out of the mouth of someone i admire and hold very highly in esteem, it meant a lot to this girl behind her monitor.

i thought i’d share it.

you’re the most beautiful wonderful person i know, maybe being where you are is why you are the person you are

thank you dear.

the satellites bleep

and so she orbits
satellites bleeping.

dave matthews songs sound appropriate yet
jarring.

galaxies twirling and concealing themselves through defiance and
sparks.

stars imploding without noise.

dead bodies effortlessly drift on by
trussed up like slaughtered chickens

cold.
congealed.
cling wrapped.

‘it all comes from the dark place,’
he says.

‘no, that’s where it returns to, to fester and brew,’
she says.

that’s all, then.

until next time.

until i write again.

tuesday’s little smile.

I woke up this morning
Kissed my child
Watched a storm play silently out at sea
Orange lights and blazing flares
Clouds above and clouds below
The world, the earth, the sky above
She is my peaceful dove.

Her love for life
Her unendingly smile
Her cuddled into me
It is my bliss.

calling all bloggirls.

yes, Sheena Gatesface and I are going ahead and starting up Durban Bloggirls.

see here and join in bitches