b(l)og roll

The b(l)og roll… scroll down a little, to the right… there you go, it’s under

reciprocate.

Do you read it? Do you get it? Do you ever click on through?

Are you pissed because you’re not on it?

Hehe. Some of you should be

Some of you no longer have any reason to be

My point is. I read these people. Every day. So should you.

(this blogpost is brought to you at 00h47. i will sleep sometime, promise).

larcy

larcy

made me smile today.

thank you my 99percenter.

Fodder Friday

Stole this from Angel

1. Who was your first prom date?

Er. The first dance I ever went to was with a boy called Robert. Kudos, me, for avoiding the biblical names that time round. I’ve seen the photos, though. Remind me to never go goth again? kthx

2. Do you still talk to your first love?

Yes. Weirdly. He’s my best mate’s ex too. Everybody say “weird”. But, yes, smile-e and I still talk. Daily.

3. What was your first alcoholic drink?

Peach Schnapps. GAH

4. What was your first job?

Video Store Assistant. Alot of Ass-sitting

5. What was your first car?

No, we don’t talk about that 

6. Who was the first person to text you today?

Cath

7. Who was the first person you thought of this morning?

Larcy

8. Who was your first grade teacher?

Er. Ms Chislett. Yes.

9. Where did you go on your first flight in a plane?

When I was a little mite.

10. Who was your first best friend and do you still talk?

Charlene. And yes, we do.

11. Where was your first sleepover?

Um. I think it was at Tracy’s house Wah. Infamous.

12. Who was the first person you talked to today?

Cameron

13. Whose wedding were you in for the first time?

Guess what? I’ve successfully avoided bridal parties all my life by being pregnant or on the other side of the world when they happen. this run ends soon, though, when Seh the Boobs makes me walk down the aisle before her. For her, I’ll do it though.

14. What was the first thing you did this morning?

Tweet. Tweet.

15. What was the first concert you went to?

Shit. First concert type thing? Concert in the park. First concert concert? Bon Jovi. Alanis Morissette. Def Leppard.

16. First tattoo?

A spiral on my ass

17. First piercing?

Ears. I have no piercings now

18. First foreign country you went to?

Haven’t left

19. First movie you remember seeing?

Weirdly. I don’t

20. What state did you first live in?

Where I am now

21. Who was your first room mate?

First room-mate? Would be Tam. First person ever brave enough to live with me? Allan. And he still knows me better by facebook status than anyone. To him, I say “insert guit sideways” *codespeak(

22. When was your first detention?

Standard 5. Don’t tell my mother.

23. If you had one wish what would it be?

For Cam to never know hurt.

24. What is one thing you would learn, given the chance?

How to say no to people

25. What was the name of your imaginary friend?

Ask my sister. wah.

soon soon

soon soon, this little piece of me will have a new home.

keep watching

the post where she updates, properly…

Hello Audience of Twelve,

How are YOU doing? Apologies for being so relatively, unprolific. It’s been a busy time.

There’s some housekeeping I need to do so, here goes (and yes, its a little numerical list just for the super-awesome and newly-engaged Glugster )

1. Awards, Kudos and General Brilliance:

So it turns out, I got an award! twice! So, to my sweetheart friends in the computer and beyond, Angel and Acidicice , I say thank you for this:

And, as is tradition, I need to pass this on…

So…

Hey, ExMi, mother of my future son-in-law and you fullashit fantastic woman , this is for you (inclusive of a big, sloppy wet kiss with tongue heh):

2. I’ve Been Thinking:

I’ve been meaning to say this for a while. It’s been building up and swarming around my head. To the person who once told me “that’s what you get for living your life on the Internet” and who incidentally and weirdly, is/was/possibly/who gives a flying fuck now anyway, someone who works on/with the Internet itself…

I say, Yeah. Dude. This is what I get for living my life on the Internet as you so un-eloquently put it. For being brave, for being open, when I could. For being myself in the face of everything. Of mud slung and words bandied around. For the amount I’ve times I’ve been told to shut down, to shut up and to leave things alone. For the times where I’ve been told I’m doing my daughter a disservice by sharing our life together. For the times where I apparently made you uncomfortable, and for the times when you complained that you were not the spotlight. How sad it is that my old blog is no longer. How liberating it is, too. How I only really know why that is liberating. How I only really know how free I feel. How I only really know how “living my life on the Internet” has brought me more joy, companionship, no-bullshit-and-baggage friends. How I only really know, that if I were to list the number of times I have been stunned by the love I’ve found from people not afraid to reach beyond the monitor. This year, this year has been testament to it. This year has been testament to the fact that I’m not just “fucking around and talking to noone who doesn’t really know you anyway, not like I do”.

(on that note, dude, your grammar always sucked. heh)

To you, to you, I say…if I look at my life, in all it’s hard-won beauty – sometimes wobbly, sometimes curved, sometimes splendid, always looking forward…

I can thank this habit of mine you so loathed, for ninety percent of the good things in my life.  Loathed so much by you, you told me to stop and when I did not, you made it go away. And when you finally went away, it was here to hold my hand. I can share every part of myself. Even the parts that scared you. They don’t scare me at all.

To you, I say, fuck you. You who cannot look me in the face.

To you, I say, fuck you. As you read this. And, yes, I know you are.

So, when I look at my year thus far, I have done and had so much happen as a direct result of this. Directly because of the courage I have fought so hard to have. And the love I and Cameron have felt. My friends, you awe me. Just, thank you. The people I am so lucky to work with, play with, meet with, laugh with, talk with, I say, THANK YOU. The people who cross both those boundaries, I say thank you. I cannot wait to see all of you. You know who you are and you all know when. Heh.

It is this that has helped me to be the person I always wanted to be. Sure, it’s a growth process. Sure, it’s an eternal evolution but, for the first time , ever, I truly feel like I am on my way. Without abandon. Without boundary. Without a muzzle. Without someone or something holding me back. Without inhibition. Free.

3. Mama Love:

This morning, I awoke early after an early night of hitting the pillow – so rare it deserves it’s own status update ROTFL, and went to do my morning coffee, smoke, bath, hair, rummage for breakfast… And when I walked back into our rather-large-rather-love-it-bedroom…  There was my daughter, sitting on the end of her bed, watching the sunrise, fully dressed (by herself!), brushing her hair. And she called me and said…

“mama, look at the sunrise. it’s all pink. just for me, mama. the sun is pink for me today. and for you”.

Dear Cameron, the reason the sun rises every day in my life, is you. You are epitome of love. The ultimate snugglebunny, and every day, your uninhibited love for the world. Your boundless love for me. Little me. Me, who thought she was not worthy for s0 long. Me, who did not even know how to change a nappy when you were born (true story –  even practicing on dolls didn’t help). Me, who looks at you every day, over dinner whilst we clink our glasses of green juice and say “same same” as we touch forks before we eat (yeah, that’s how we roll in our house, hehe), and thinks “of all the things I have had happen in my life, you are  the best thing that ever, ever did”.

You, the unexpected. You, the every day surprise and divine love.

Dear Cameron, thank you. Mama loves you.

4. Cath, indeed:

And, Cath. Cath is busy. Cath is feeling vaguely frustrated with some things in her life but, they are not to keep me that way for long. Cath is keeping inspired by reading alot. And when something touches her, she bookmarks it and sometimes she shares it too. This one, I’m sharing. Mostly because it’s written by a person I respect a mucho, who can make me laugh on a bad day, and who happens to be related to a person of whom I am quite fond. Heh.

5. Lastly:

There are a few unexpected things in store. Watch out for them.

note to the usual audience of 12

Hey dudes.

I’ve been asked to remove someone from this blog. so any of you regular audience of 12, will notice a significant someone missing, and alot of blogposts no longer available for reading (and it’ll look like there are some big gaps in my archives). Sorry about that. but, hey, thats life. you wont be hearing about them again so, sorry about that too.

On that note, should anyone else have an issue about me mentioning or linking to them, let me know.

Chippers.

Cath

tag, i’m it

So, Scott tagged me for this memealeme…

Here goes…

The tenth good thing meme is listing ten good things you think of someone who has died. Could be a family member, could be a friend. Could be a cat. I want to write about my Dad…

My dad was:

1. Incredibly passionate, which sometimes made him unable to see beyond that.(I seem to think this is genetic)
2. Stubborn. So stubborn. So so so stubborn.
3. Loyal. Even when he didn’t want to be. If he loved you, and chances are, if you knew him, he did, he wouldn’t have a bad word said about you. Sure, he might say them to you but, if someone else crossed that line, they were screwed. Not many people know that but, I’ve seen it in action.
4. An insomniac. Every night that I sit here at this laptop, ash piling into the keyboard, I remember that this is a genetic condition lol.
5. Always thinking. Even when his eyes were closed and he was snoring.
6. always available for 2am phonecalls from me. When I moved out of home, they became a regular thing. I’d be home alone whilst Allan was on shift, and he’d phone me or I’d phone him. The number of nights I sat with my brick cellphone glued to my ear whilst flicking through channels, unable to sleep, and talking to him, is directly proportionate to the number of nights I, at that first uncertain stage of trying to stamp out your own world, wanted to go home, eat mum’s sometimes insane food (my siblings will smile knowingly when I say UFOs and frittata) and be six years old again.
7. a person who found himself the funniest in his own  head. I’m like that too.
8. not afraid of being there for someone when they needed it. My friends always said that speaking to my mom and dad about anything was easier than speaking to anyone.
9. A really good boardgame and card player. No, really good. Even though he sometimes cheated and was  a damn sore loser. (heh, you thought we didn’t notice? heheh)
10. always proud of us, even when we weren’t talking or had disagreed. He used to say to me, that love – real love, family love, friend love, respect love -  is like this, and I quote: you can hate someone, want to yell and stamp your feet at them for being so frustratingly stupid but… in the morning, when you awake, they will still smell like honey to you.

Every day, I remember that.

And, now.. I tag:

Sheena

Sue

and

ExMi

life. it’s busy

Life. It’s busy. But, busy is good. Busy is free. Busy is also, sometimes, frustrating. But then, busy is also approximately four hundred and ninety two times better than being bored.

So, there you have it. I’m good. I’m busy and I’m learning. Lucky for me, I have awesome teachers.

Most of all, my greatest teacher is the three year old lying cuddled up in bed with a stuffed monkey and gargantuan winnie the pooh. Today she told me she was “so excited for our new home”. Let’s just say I got some awesome, real-life parenting advice, and now, it seems, the superhero in a princess skirt would like to move, like, tomorrow. The excitement in her eyes with each new day is what keeps my soul at home and nourished.

In other news, the awesome and fantastic, ExMi (also known as my future fellow mother-in-law hehe) has nominated me for an SA Blog Award for best personal blog.

I’m not sure how I feel about awards, to be honest.

When I look around the world through my monitor, and read things that people I admire so much, have written, I can’t help but to feel a little overwhelmed.

I always have that, that sense of overwhelmed. I think it comes from being the not-cool, short kid who bites her nails and smokes in the loos at school. So when someone says “hey, you, you’re not too bad”, I always have that “oh shit, are they really talking to me?” feeling.

Hence, I spend a lot of time being a little awed and tongue tied. It happens.

Anyway, if you want to vote me up, please go here, or you could totally use your lil clickity-click scroll wheel and go a little further down this page. Up to you, really..

And if you don’t want to vote me up, then why the fuck are you reading this anyway?

Heehee. And there you thought I’d gone all soft on you guys…

Oh, and yes, I have nominated, and no it has nothing to do with you. I’m not keen on trying to sway your opinion, purely because I’m not keen on you trying to sway mine.

Be good. You never know who’s watching.

p.s. if you’re bored, and need a read of something, go here

I Won An Award! And I’m passing it on!

Thank you to ExMi for bestowing this honour on me via  The Bad Mommy Blog!

The Oops Award was created and is to be given to bloggers who inspire others with their humor and their talents, also for contributing to the blogging world in whatever medium. When you receive this award it is considered a special honor. Once you have received this award, you are to pass it on to others.

The rules for passing this honor on:

1) Pick 5 blogs that you would like to award this honor to.
2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.
3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.
4) Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Oops” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.

So, here are my award winners!

1. SheBee – because, chick, yo, you make me laugh. Shit pooh and fannyfart impersonations. (you have to be Sheena to understand why that’s funny).

2. ExMi – because you’re unshamed. And that makes me smile. Alot.

3. Suetjie – because your honesty inspires me, more than you know.

4. MsBehavn – because you are one funny fucker, also learning how to be selfish like me!

5. Lastly, and excuse me for being a girl here but, hey fuck it, I’m allowed. For Person, because your funny peculiar and your funny haha inspire me daily.

(hehe. i also won a tweet of the day award here Thank you ExMi!)

random thoughts.

hi, folks

guess you didn’t quite know how to react to that one, hey? heh. it’s okay. thought i’d farted for a second there and not claimed it

So, what have I been up to? Well…

1. Work. It’s madass. And constant interruptions are truly grating my carrot in the uncomfortable way. But, it’s cool, feeling a little more in control now, and a little more sure-footed in the face of that old intray. Hate that bloody thing.

2. I’ve been lurking but not commenting on “my bloggers” (haha) blogs. “My bloggers” = my peeps, homeys and people I admire. Yes, I know, bad reciprocation, cath, bad girl. I know and Im sorry. Promise to return to being a comment demon soon. Reason why I’ve been bad? See point 1. Sorry peeps.

3. a fuck yes! to this: http://www.techcult.com/high-tech-pranks/

4. Cam is awesome. I love being woken up with a “i love you mama”

5. Can’t wait for the weekend.

6. i love that you think of me. this whole mutual admiration thing rocks my bits.

these are my random thoughts for right now…