It started with a phonecall. That I missed. Heh. Larcy was round for tea and tuck
that night, and I picked up my phone just as it went to voicemail. It was Angel.
I listened to the voicemail, disbelievingly looked at larcy and said:
You know how I was just saying I kinda wish Sheena’s birthday was here so that you
could actually, like, meet her? Well, Angel and Glugster want to fly me up for it!
Heh. What should I do?
My heart said:
Go.
Go, because it meant being able to be there for Sheena’s 25th. We all know my theory
on the 25th year. Oh, Sheena, I owe you a phonecall about that one…
Go, because, truth be told, I owe the bitch because of last year’s birthday, when she
engineered my surprise party and had me in fits of tears and insults towards my best
mates.
Go, because, Cath, you can.
So, under a thickly-spread veil of lard and bleak emails, I conned Sheena into
believing that I was very, very bleak about missing it. Over six weeks, talking every
day to the madam, and laying it on thick like never before, I did it.
I kept checking the calendar. I’d be lying if I said that Angel and I didn’t count
down via morning text message. We did. Most of them were something like:
OMG! THREE SLEEPS LEFT!!!!
Hehe. Fuck, i love my friends.
So, with Cam packed off to her dad for the weekend, Friday woke up and I left the
office by ten. Way too distracted to sit around and wait for the day to roll by, I
had my hair cut, went home and finished packing. When Will came round with the now
infamous ‘big ‘n gay’ suitcase, and my stuff only *just* fitted in it.. Hey, don’t
judge me… a girl needs options, you know. I can actually fit my entire self into
that suitcase. True story.
So, off we went to the airport, I checked in and settled down for a bit of lunch and
even more Sheena-ragging. Dude! I called you from the airport! ROTFL.
Soon enough, that little green plane had me touching down in good old Egoli, were I
was met by Angel and Glugster, carrying gorgeous flowers and an insane balloon.
Before I even go there. Before I even start on the events that transpired, of tears
shat and maniacal laughter…I want to tell you about Angel and Glugster.
You see, dear audience of twelve, Angel and Glugster found me via Sheena. And when
Angel started her regular ‘blog stalkings’ of me, and I of both her and
even-numbering-obsessed Gluggie, I started patching together the pieces of their
lives. I fell in love with their story. And most of all, I fell straight into
inspiration. Here was Angel, rocking single mama who had finally found the man who
loved her and her child without boundary. And here was Glugster. A true gentleman who
so absolutely loves his now wife-to-be and her son. A love story through the good old
blog. When my life hit a horrible rocky turn last year, Angel and Glugster stood by
me, in ways I cannot even elucidate. They loved me from afar and when I finally met
them, on my lounge floor, whilst playing with Cam, I was, truth be told, awed.
They’re both grinning and blushing whilst reading this, I am okay with this. Their
love knows no boundaries, and it extends to Cameron and I. When I said that good
things and good people have come to me via this little habit of mine, once regarded
as disdainful, i’m not shitting you. Cameron calls them “the angel without wings and
the man who loves her”. Angel and Neels, I just wanted to say thank you. Such little
words, but so heartfelt. Just, thank you. For you, every day, my heart says a prayer.
You know why.
So, they picked me up and we ferried off to an Italian restaurant where the waiter
knew very little (“what is this brandy stuff you speak of?”) and the food awesome.
“What is this no cocktail menu rule of yours? are you insane?”. Okay, I admit, the
bad waiter mojo is my fault.
And we laughed. Laughed so hard. Laughed so much. Hey, Angel, you didn’t show me your
cupcake! Waha.
And then, home. To sleep and be warm and be ready for the onslaught of Gold Reef
City. Warm and snug, I thought to myself, and of course, unable to tweet or say
anything, I thought.. “heh, i am lucky and heh, Sheena, dude, revenge is so sweet”.
Saturday opened up her eyes and the sun shone – good thing too, because I would’ve
frozen my youknowwhats off if it hadn’t.
I got to sit with Angel whilst she created the SheBee and 8unni cupcakes and truly,
Angel, if I let Cameron loose in your kitchen, I fear you will never recover. Hehe.
It’s a kitchen making heaven in a cupcake, right there, and oh boy, Cam will just
freak out in excitement.
And off we went, after doing a little network setup for the Knucklehead and his mate.
By the way, Knucklehead, you are so, so, so much like my very-missed friend, Dewald.
Truly. Thank you for your time and laughing with me, and for putting me on to some
pretty cool bands I’m going to get hold of. Now, where do i get that hairdye!?!)
Dropping the cupcakes off at Primi, and a quick smokebreak later, we arrived at Gold
Reef City. Hiding behind Neels all the way, and of course, showing off my bra to
Angel in the parking lot (Cath standard operating procedure, of course), we met Craig
and Sam in the queue. Thanks, you two, for getting us our tickets so we didn’t have
to slog the queue for half an hour.
Hugs all round, and we’re standing outside the Tower of Terror. I hid behind the wall
when Sheena emerged, still shaking from that shit-yourself of
who-the-fuck-would-even-want-to-do-that-ride.
Hugs all round again, and still she hadn’t seen me…
So, I pounced, hand over her mouth and I said
“Hey, tart, what’s sweeter than birthday cake?”
Which is when I yanked her head back and said
“Revenge!”
Angel says Sheena and I have our own language. True story, we do. insert hand
motions, a cup of tea and a “the chocolate is full of bath” phrase, and we do. But,
that language didn’t exist for ten minutes whilst we both shat tears and jumped
around.
Truth be told, a number of people not part of the gang and the gag must’ve thought
“are these two retarded or just still screaming from the tower of terror?”
To my endearingly termed fuckbitch and former Shath-mate, I got you. I got you so
well I live in fear of my 30th birthday. Heaven help me for how you’re going to repay
me for this one. You’re probably in evil planning stages now. I think I’m going into
hiding June through to July next year.
I got to meet so many people, round the lunch table at the world’s worst Mugg n Bean,
with the world’s worst waiter (see, told you I have that mojo) and Craig got to bitch
about his very teeny tiny garnish salad.
We moved off after eating, and I practiced my ball skills to try and get a pink shark
for Cam. Turns out my ball skills have nothing to do with the actual sport
equipment,if you get my drift. Heh.
My favourite part of Gold Reef City has to be the Kiddies section. Maybe it’s because
I’m a mama. Maybe it’s because I know Cam would love it there. Yes, my notsobabygirl,
you’re coming with next time, I promise.
With the help of our crew, Neels won Cam a stuffed dog. His name is Sheeba Bolt
Snickerdoodle, and he’s fast asleep now, paws wrapped up inside Cameron’s little
arms. Thank you, my friends.
Another table, another group of people and I started to feel like this was
fast-becoming one of my top five weekends of life. True story, I think it has. We
laughed and talked and joked ’til the sun started to set.
And, then, off to Primi for dinner, drinks and debauchery. That said, noone danced on
the table (chairs don’t count, girls
) and Sheena managed to get through the night
without having one of the girls pop out, hah.
I met so many wonderful people. Funny. Hilarious, in fact. I knew that already from
our twitter karaoke and banter. What I didn’t expect was how much you’d all feel so
much like home to me.
On that note, though, yes, dudes, I really am this short. I know I come across as
much taller, I get that alot, but, yes, I really am this short. Yes, jokes do fly
over my head (that was a new one) and yes, I really do shop in the kiddie
sectionsometimes.
In no particular order (and if i forget anyone, please forgive me now, I’m writing
this a few days later and i left my notebook at the office!) :
Jon – I’m getting to you just now. From meeting you in my driveway on a Sunday
afternoon to your now well-honed ability to put up with all that is Sheena, your
smile says it all.
8unni – from one single mama to another, keep rocking it, chick.
Flea – wahaha. Dude, I’ve licked your face. You can stay
Richard – fuckoffsideways, you really are that tall.
Rebecca – you owe me one rescue tactic. You know why. Heh. Good to meet you.
Garsen – you are exactly who I expected you to be. Garrulous, divine and hilarious.
You owe me a dinner, cooked by you. I’ll await your call
Bergen – two things – never steal a lady’s chair and get on your knees, boy.
Sam – if there was one person I wish I could have had more quiet time with, it was
you. For so many reasons. Now, sing it with me: “she wants to ….”. wah. Poor you,
Bergen, poor you.
Gareth – where can I get me one of these electric cigarettes, please? I think it may
be the answer I have been hunting for!
Craig – my friend Craig. You with your warm hug and iPhone addiction. Heh. And your
honest approach to life. Who would’ve thought we’d have so many people in our mingled
past already.
Philip – you, so quiet. I expected you to be taller! Kidding, I had to get someone
back for it! You have such a clever eye. Kudos.
I know I’ve forgotten people. Dammit. Just know this, please, you made a birthday
surprise girl, feel like she was at home in her pjs, comfortable and on her own
couch. Thank you.
When the night drew to a close, the actually-quite-jacked waiter (yay! we broke the
pattern!) brought round the bill and we all said goodbye, I started texting Jon
(Sheena, stop abusing your phone’s battery!). Heaven only knows what I said but, man
I hope it was good. heh.
Sleep, and a sunrise, I got up, made us all the Cath-breakfast, and got to sun for a
little while with someone i have been dying to meet – the now-blog-in-hiatus Sweets.
Chick, it was damn fine to meet you. And even more awesome to know that you’re doing
well. You so deserve it, hon. So much so.
ExMi and the BF joined us, without the Kid, deemed my future son-in-law, who was
pretty ill. Poor babe. I hope he’s doing better, mommy-van-driving tartface
Shortly afterwards, after she finished faffing around, like usual, and was most
probably gently shunted out the door by Jon, Sheena came round too.
And what did I get? Yes, folks, an awesome T-Vaal T-shirt tan. My nose is now
peeling. Help?
Far too soon, it was airport time. Far too soon for me. I sat in departures, waiting
to board, crying my head off. I didn’t think I would be. I knew it would be a
whirlwind trip. I didn’t expect it to be a heart-wrenching to leave as it was.
And wing back I did. To home, to Cameron, who ate all her Angel-made cupcakes in
three minutes flat and then asked if I could fly back and get some more for her
(heehee)! To Cameron, who loved her Sheeba Bolt Snickerdoodle doggie and tried, very
hard, to insert the entire worlds-largest-lollipop into her mouth. She’s still
working on it.
And on Sunday night, I was tired. A weird tired for me. It wasn’t from working, or
monitor-tanning til 1am. It was a strange tired. I was tired from having a good time.
From relaxing. From laughing so much I know I grew a few more laughter lines.
And, in bed, snuggled up with my precious daughter, I smiled to myself.
Thank you for a wonderful, insane, hilarious weekend. I remember, now, who I am.
Photo
Formatting intentionally insane.
It started with a phonecall. That I missed. Heh.
Larcy was round for tea and tuck that night, and I picked up my phone just as it went to voicemail. It was
Angel.I listened to the voicemail, disbelievingly looked at Larcy and said:
You know how I was just saying I kinda wish Sheena’s birthday was here so that you could actually, like, meet her? Well, Angel and Glugster want to fly me up for it!
Heh. What should I do?
My heart said:
Go.
Go, because it meant being able to be there for
Sheena’s 25th. We all know my theory on the 25th year. Oh, Sheena, I owe you a phonecall about that one…
Go, because, truth be told, I owe the bitch because of last year’s birthday, when she engineered my surprise party and had me in fits of tears and insults towards my best mates.
Go, because, Cath, you can.
So, under a thickly-spread veil of lard and bleak emails, I conned Sheena into
believing that I was very, very bleak about missing it. Over six weeks, talking every day to the madam, and laying it on thick like never before, I did it.
I kept checking the calendar. I’d be lying if I said that Angel and I didn’t count
down via morning text message. We did. Most of them were something like:
OMG! THREE SLEEPS LEFT!!!!
Hehe. Fuck, i love my friends.
So, with Cam packed off to her dad for the weekend, Friday woke up and I left the office by ten. Way too distracted to sit around and wait for the day to roll by, I had my hair cut, went home and finished packing. When Will came round with the now infamous ‘big ‘n gay’ suitcase, and my stuff only *just* fitted in it.. Hey, don’t judge me… a girl needs options, you know. I can actually fit my entire self into that suitcase. True story.
So, off we went to the airport, I checked in and settled down for a bit of lunch and even more Sheena-ragging. Dude! I called you from the airport! ROTFL.
Soon enough, that little green plane had me touching down in good old Egoli, were I was met by Angel and Glugster, carrying gorgeous flowers and an insane balloon.
Before I even go there. Before I even start on the events that transpired, of tears shat and maniacal laughter…I want to tell you about Angel and Glugster.
You see, dear audience of twelve, Angel and Glugster found me via Sheena. And when Angel started her regular ‘blog stalkings’ of me, and I of both her and even-numbering-obsessed Gluggie, I started patching together the pieces of their lives. I fell in love with their story. And most of all, I fell straight into inspiration. Here was Angel, rocking single mama who had finally found the man who loved her and her child without boundary. And here was Glugster. A true gentleman who so absolutely loves his now wife-to-be and her son. A love story through the good old blog. When my life hit a horrible rocky turn last year, Angel and Glugster stood by me, in ways I cannot even elucidate. They loved me from afar and when I finally met them, on my lounge floor, whilst playing with Cam, I was, truth be told, awed.
They’re both grinning and blushing whilst reading this, I am okay with this. Their love knows no boundaries, and it extends to Cameron and I. When I said that good things and good people have come to me via this little habit of mine,
once regarded with disdain by some, i’m not shitting you. Cameron calls them “the angel without wings and the man who loves her”. Angel and Neels, I just wanted to say thank you. Such little words, but so heartfelt. Just, thank you. For you, every day, my heart says a prayer. You know why.
So, they picked me up and we ferried off to an Italian restaurant where the waiter knew very little (“
what is this brandy stuff you speak of?“) and the food was awesome.
“What is this no cocktail menu rule of yours? are you insane?”. Okay, I admit, the bad waiter mojo is my fault.
And we laughed. Laughed so hard. Laughed so much. Hey, Angel, you didn’t show me your cupcake! Waha.
And then, home. To sleep and be warm and be ready for the onslaught of Gold Reef City. Warm and snug, I thought to myself, and of course, unable to tweet or say anything, I thought.. “heh, i am lucky and heh, Sheena, dude, revenge is so sweet”.
Saturday opened up her eyes and the sun shone – good thing too, because I would’ve frozen my youknowwhats off if it hadn’t.
I got to sit with Angel whilst she created the SheBee and 8unni cupcakes and truly, Angel, if I let Cameron loose in your kitchen, I fear you will never recover. Hehe. It’s a kitchen making heaven in a cupcake, right there, and oh boy, Cam will just freak out in excitement.
And off we went, after doing a little network setup for the Knucklehead and his mate. By the way, Knucklehead, you are so, so, so much like my very-missed friend, Dewald. Truly. Thank you for your time and laughing with me, and for putting me on to some pretty cool bands I’m going to get hold of. Now, where do i get that hairdye!?!)
Dropping the cupcakes off at Primi, and a quick smokebreak later, we arrived at
Gold Reef City. Hiding behind Neels all the way, and of course, showing off my bra to Angel in the parking lot (Cath standard operating procedure, of course), we met
Craig and
Sam in the queue. Thanks, you two, for getting us our tickets so we didn’t have to slog the queue for half an hour.
Hugs all round, and we’re standing outside the Tower of Terror. I hid behind the wall when Sheena emerged, still shaking from that shit-yourself of
who-the-fuck-would-even-want-to-do-that-ride.
Hugs all round again, and still she hadn’t seen me…
So, I pounced, hand over her mouth and I said
Hey, tart, what’s sweeter than birthday cake?
Which is when I yanked her head back and said
Revenge!
Angel says Sheena and I have our own language. True story, we do. insert hand motions, a cup of tea and a “the chocolate is full of bath” phrase, and we do. But, that language didn’t exist for ten minutes whilst we both shat tears and jumped around.
Truth be told, a number of people not part of the gang and the gag must’ve thought…
“are these two retarded or just still screaming from the tower of terror?”
To my endearingly termed fuckbitch and former Shath-mate, I got you. I got you so well I live in fear of my 30th birthday. Heaven help me for how you’re going to repay me for this one. You’re probably in evil planning stages now. I think I’m going into hiding June through to July next year.
I got to meet so many people, round the lunch table at the world’s worst Mugg ‘n Bean, with the world’s worst waiter (see, told you I have that mojo) and Craig got the world’s teeniest tiniest garnish salad.
We moved off after eating, and I practiced my ball skills to try and get a pink shark for Cam. Turns out my ball skills have nothing to do with the actual sport equipment,if you get my drift. Heh.
My favourite part of Gold Reef City has to be the
Kiddies section. Maybe it’s because I’m a mama. Maybe it’s because I know Cam would love it there. Yes, my notsobabygirl, you’re coming with next time, I promise.
With the help of our crew, Neels won Cam a stuffed dog. His name is Sheeba Bolt Snickerdoodle, and he’s fast asleep now, paws wrapped up inside Cameron’s little arms. Thank you, my friends.
Another table, another group of people and I started to feel like this was
fast-becoming one of my top five weekends of life. True story, I think it has. We laughed and talked and joked ’til the sun started to set.
And, then, off to Primi for dinner, drinks and debauchery. That said, noone danced on the table (chairs don’t count, girls
) and Sheena managed to get through the night without having one of the girls pop out, hah.
I met so many wonderful people. Funny. Hilarious, in fact. I knew that already from our twitter karaoke and banter. What I didn’t expect was how much you’d all feel so much like home to me.
On that note, though, yes, dudes, I really am this short. I know I come across as much taller, I get that alot, but, yes, I really am this short. Yes, jokes do fly over my head (that was a new one) and yes, I really do shop in the kiddie section sometimes.
In no particular order (and if i forget anyone, please forgive me now, I’m writing this a few days later and i left my notebook at the office!) :
Jon – From meeting you in my driveway on a Sunday afternoon to your now well-honed ability to put up with all that is Sheena, your smile says it all. /on that note, check the shitsmit on Sheena’s face here. wah/
8unni – from one single mama to another, keep rocking it, chick.
Flea – wahaha. Dude, I’ve licked your face. You can stay
Richard – fuckoffsideways, you really are that tall.
Rebecca – you owe me one rescue tactic. You know why. Heh. Good to meet
you.
Garsen – you are exactly who I expected you to be. Garrulous, divine and hilarious. You owe me a dinner, cooked by you. I’ll await your call
Bergen – two things – never steal a lady’s chair and get on your knees, boy.
Sam – if there was one person I wish I could have had more quiet time with, it was you. For so many reasons. Now, sing it with me: “she wants to ….”. wah.
Gareth – where can I get me one of these electric cigarettes, please? I think it may be the answer I have been hunting for!
Craig – my friend Craig. You with your warm hug and iPhone addiction. Heh. And your honest approach to life. Who would’ve thought we’d have so many people in our mingled past already.
Philip – you, so quiet. I expected you to be taller! Kidding, I had to get someone back for it! You have such a clever eye. Kudos.
I know I’ve forgotten people. Dammit. Just know this, please, you made a birthday surprise girl, feel like she was at home in her pjs, comfortable and on her own couch. Thank you.
When the night drew to a close, the actually-quite-jacked waiter (yay! we broke the pattern!) brought round the bill and we all said goodbye, I started texting Jon (Sheena, stop abusing your phone’s battery!). Heaven only knows what I said but, man I hope it was good. heh.
Sleep, and a sunrise, I got up, made us all the Cath-breakfast, and got to sun for a little while with someone i have been dying to meet – the now-blog-in-hiatus
Sweets. Chick, it was damn fine to meet you. And even more awesome to know that you’re doing well. You so deserve it, hon. So much so.
ExMi and the BF joined us, without the Kid, deemed my future son-in-law, who was pretty ill. Poor babe. I hope he’s doing better, mommy-van-driving tartface
Shortly afterwards, after she finished faffing around, like usual, and was most
probably gently shunted out the door by Jon, Sheena came round too.
And what did I get? Aside from the splendour of giggling with good friends and poking Sheena’s hungover head… Yes, folks, an awesome T-Vaal T-shirt tan. My nose is now peeling. Help?
Far too soon, it was airport time. Far too soon for me. I sat in departures, waiting to board, crying my head off.
I didn’t think I would be. I knew it would be a whirlwind trip. I didn’t expect it to be a heart-wrenching to leave as it was.
And wing back I did. To home, to Cameron, who ate all her Angel-made cupcakes in three minutes flat and then asked if I could fly back and get some more for her (heehee)! To Cameron, who loved her Sheeba Bolt Snickerdoodle doggie and tried, very hard, to insert the entire worlds-largest-lollipop into her mouth. She’s still working on it.
And on Sunday night, I was tired. A weird tired for me. It wasn’t from working, or monitor-tanning til 1am, like usual. It was a strange tired. I was tired from having a good time. From relaxing. From laughing so much I know I grew a few more laughter lines.
And, in bed, snuggled up with my precious daughter, I smiled to myself.
Thank you for a wonderful, insane, hilarious weekend.
You see, Jon. As weird as it sounds due to the short space of time you and I have actually spent in the same province together, the outside world would probably think me self-important or presumptious to say that to you. But. You passed the five-second-Cath-sum-up test on the day you stood in my driveway. I make that sound so lame, I know. My very first look at you though, and I knew. I knew you were going to be to Sheena what a certain person was to me. And you were. And you are. I thank you for that. Yes, I’m maternal and over-protective and don’t you ever step out of line (insert evil cackle) but, I knew from the moment I met you, that you were indeed smit with her. It warmed my heart, and I said to Sheena, “he can stay”. And you are. Don’t ever let anyone take that away from you. And good luck with meeting the family. With you, I just knew. Thank you.
And, as is tradition, I need to pass this on…
